Strictly speaking expatriates have been doing this social distancing lark ever since they left their country of birth. Six feet shouldn’t seem very much when you’ve put an ocean and several thousand miles between yourself and the society in which you were born and bred. But these are remarkable times and everybody is living apart from the life and people they know.
Anybody looking at this blog for any answers about how things will resolve themself is going to go away even more disappointed by my ramblings than usual. The media – social and mainstream – has been full of pundits giving their views on what’s going to happen and usually they are proven incorrect within three days. So, it’s difficult to know how three months, or even three weeks, is going to be.
For what it is worth I hope that after two to three months of community action to save lives we will all be better people and realise, at last, that Margaret Thatcher was wrong to suggest ‘there’s no such thing as society’. But I realise that there is every possibility that economic meltdown could lead to an even greater upheaval based on survival, selfishness and personal greed. It’s a bit more disturbing in a country where the race to purchase guns has been as shocking as the stockpiling of toilet rolls.
For now, the streets of sunny San Diego are peopled by individuals who wave at each other and say hello as they cross the street to follow the medically approved etiquette is observed. Dogs are happy that they receive five walks a day but slightly bemused that they aren’t allowed close enough to do the social sniffing that is good behaviour in their world. Bars and restaurants are building their delivery business and our local favourite The Whistlestop had its first Instagram Happy Hour, with Britpop classics, on Friday evening.
Americans are ‘can do’ sort of people and as usual national characteristics come to the fore in times of stress and crisis. It was impressive to see the Italians turn to opera and classical dancing on their balconies as they came out each evening to demonstrate their unity and defiance. The South Koreans and the Germans have impressed us all with their testing, tracing and total focus on following scientific advice to get ahead of the virus.
In the middle of this, and as if there was not enough socially transmitted disease around, the British had the infamous ‘Clap For Carers’ to show support for the front-line saviours in the NHS. It is sad that a country with the richest history in modern music – the Beatles, the Stones, Zeppelin, Oasis et al – were unable to find a song to unite the country in a time of national struggle. It’s very difficult to accept that You’ll Never Walk Alone is the answer because strictly speaking the current rules say that you should and must do exactly that.
My own choice would have been, 500 Miles by the Proclaimers, because it at least implies that you start a long way away from each other. At an average of 3mph and walking eight hours a day it would take 20 days to get within six feet which is, of course, an appropriate self-isolation time if you started off with symptoms. It’s also a lot more rousing and has sufficient ‘da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da’ for those who are no good with lyrics.
For aficionados it is worth adding that the line in the song saying, ‘and I would walk 500 more’, indicates a willingness to walk 1,000 miles. That is taking precautionary measures to a new dimension but in a spirit of being useful I’d note that it’s about 2,000,000 steps, or 100,000 calories, which would see you lose about 28lb in weight (all else being equal). That seems quite a disappointing return on so much walking but the combination of social distancing, exercise and weight loss could make it mandatory under the ever changing Government guidelines.
It was particularly misguided to pick a song so closely associated with a single football club – even if Liverpool have successfully distanced themselves so spectacularly on points from the rest of the Premier League. It’s amusing to see these runaway leaders stranded when they are so close to equalling Leicester City’s record of one Premier League title, but also a constant reminder that live football is sorely missed. The NBCS response is hour long shows featuring the greatest goals scored but that is like replacing a three course, gourmet meal with microwave canapes and dips – all taste and no substance.
It’s like showing the last three seconds of a boxer being counted out, or the five strides before a 1500 metre runner crosses the line in an Olympic final, or just the final putts in a closely fought Open championship. Sport is about the ebb and flow of the event, the moments of controversy and the play of pressure, luck and character which forms the spirit of the game. Next thing to fill the gap will probably be ‘100 Greatest VAR Moments’ because that acronym probably always stood for Virus Against Reality.
The situation is stressful in many other ways but one thing that distresses me is the continual chatter about cash being cast aside by polite society and literally becoming ‘filthy lucre’ used only by pariahs, pimps and drug overlords. As the latter two groups have moved onto virtual currencies in a big and totally untraceable way it’s probably only social outcasts who will still carry on using ‘shrapnel’ and ‘folding’. That means I will still be socially distanced when all this is over because I can’t bear the thought of never handing over a note, smiling in a kind but firm way and saying, ‘keep the change’.
On the upside we have all found that technology is the great enabler when it comes to staying connected and in touch. I’ve been part of productive and positively effervescent meetings of over 70 people ranging from Australia, through Europe and to the west coast of America. When borders open and flying seems normal again there will be a renewal of travel for business and fun, but meeting and working virtually has undoubtedly come of age.
That’s worth a pause. Nothing can quite replace the emotion and excitement of standing alongside people you know and like after a long period of separation. One of the most moving things about global conferences is to see colleagues who have not met for many months, or even years, approaching each other with uncontrollable joy. Even for a reserved Englishman the embrace has become the norm under such circumstances.
In that respect I don’t see the elbow bump, foot-shake or formal bow becoming the norm. They all have their place and will enable adults to engage in a charming social dance that will be a reminder of the global pandemic they have survived. But after that they will laugh and then they will hug and perhaps hold each other a little tighter and longer as a reminder of what it is to be human.
Keep safe and well. Remember that there will be a time when this is over.
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
